Shinjitsu
by adorima
Summary: Ichigo must confront his demons, among them his mother and his hollow. In saving Karakura town did Ichigo play into Aizen's hands? To what lengths will Ichigo go to in order to defeat Aizen ? Ichigo to realms unknown! Set around ep. 140.


**Disclaimer: I make no claims of ownership or make any profit over Bleach by Kubo Tite.**

**Memories of a Rainy Night**

It always seemed to rain whenever Masaki left. Isshin thought so becuase he remembered every time she did.

He turned the faucet off, finished with washing the dishes and putting away the leftovers from that night's dinner. They had arrived late to their house and the girls had hit the sack as soon as they finished eating. Even the vive in Karin and Yuzu reached a limit.

He was thankful that the girls were fast asleep. Tonight, the former shinigami needed to tell his son something very important, and he didn't need any interference. He doubted it could wait much longer. He sighed deeply as he looked out through the weeping windowpane, searching for Ichigo's figure through the watery darkness. The orange-haired boy never came home on curfew, if he even came home at all. It was like this ever since Ichigo was drawn into the world of the Shinigami, Soul Society and Hollows. This made Ichigo mostly forget his responsibilities as a member of the family and as a student. Isshin would make no excuses on the boy's behalf for messy rooms, neglected special occasions, missed classes or unfinished homework. It was imperative that he take care of these things too…because Isshin believed there would be a day when Ichigo would return, and Isshin wanted him to return not as a stranger…

Exactly 7 years had passed since his wife died. Today was the anniversary of her death. The whole family had made the annual trip to her grave, given prayers up to heaven, made soft conversation about when Masaki and the family were still in one another's company as they did every time this day came around.

It was the anniversary of her death for everyone again.

But not for Isshin.

This was the bittersweet burden that he bore, his long kept secret and dearest hope, that Masaki's death had been staged and that Masaki was still alive.

Isshin smiled wistfully. If he had admitted this to his children, he would have sounded delusional, and not like his buffoon alter-ego. He knew that if he told any one of his children about this belief, that it would alienate them or worse case scenario...they would follow Karin's example and disown him as a father.

Isshin chuckled at the inward jab he just made. No. He thought, sobering up. It would be a real consequence and it wouldn't be just that...Never inclined to succumb to negativity, the now quiet man began to consider the most plausible...best case scenarios.

His sweet Yuzu would try to make the sense of it and empathize with him.

His self-reliant Karin would be offended and dismiss him as senile.

But that Ichigo...he'd doubted there was a best case scenario with him. Isshin was certain when he broke the news, of the three of his children, that Ichigo would have the most violent reaction of all. With him the news would be considered nothing less than a 7 year betrayal. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why did she leave us?" "Why didn't you look for her?" were some likely questions he'd face as soon as he told Ichigo. What Ichigo would likely do, could range from running away to find Masaki, or getting so involved in retrieving his lost mother that he'd loose his life.

Ichigo adored his mother as his mother adored him. Isshin recalled the times when Masaki had to attend to some other business than Ichigo, Karin and Yuzu, that Ichigo was the one who would throw the largest tantrum, could never be distracted from her absence and the one who would immediately forget about all his worries, as soon as she returned. In childhood, Ichigo's happiness simply depended on his mother. Isshin believed a lot of it still did. Isshin often wondered, if she had stayed with them, what Ichigo would have been like. He had imagined that the boy would be very...different.

Like that permanently furrowed brow that developed early in puberty might not have appeared. And his rough, ballsy personality might have been replaced with a moderate, pleasant and polite one. He dimissed the idea quickly.That was simply not Ichigo.

Isshin watched the boy with characteristically un-japanese, flaming orange hair through the years. He watched him grow up tall and strong. He fought for his sister's safety and ever since becoming a shinigami, he fought for the world's...But Ichigo might as well still be nine years old when it came to his mother.

Tonight Isshin had to tell Ichigo about the great possibility that Masaki was still alive, recent events had compelled him to. He would arm the boy with the knowledge of what he was really capable of...

Isshin, had kept this secret for so long becuase he thought that Ichigo had some chance of avoiding the world of spirits. He thought the boy might be spared the burden that went with being a shinigami. His wish of keeping the boy sheltered in ignorance might have continued...but as it was, children often go against their parents' wishes. That was a rueful acceptance that Isshin came to. He had always been the non-conformist to say the least. But, he never thought that when he became a father, how hard it would be to let the chicks leave the nest. Ichigo had chosen his path, and Isshin still carried the belief that he had no right to oppose that. After all he had earned his identity as a shinigami. And as a son, Ichigo had earned the right to be his own man, in charge of his own destiny.

"Ah, dear Masaki, I couldn't have done it without you." Isshin spoke into the darkness.

"Here's to your son." Isshin took his beer bottle and toasted it with the air.

Isshin sat back in the shadow-washed kitchen and listened the sounds of rain patter, his mind wandering back in time to when he first proposed to Masaki.

**Editing for this chappie in progress. Thanks for reading. Please Review.**


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